


We're no strangers to love

by BaconSwiffer



Series: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Author Is Confused, Body Dysphoria, Comfort/Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dorks in Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Frottage, Gender Dysphoria, Kind of a vent fic, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Significant Other, M/M, Sad Kozume Kenma, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Shower Sex, Trans Character, Trans Kozume Kenma, Trans Male Character, Trust, am i a guy?? am i a gal??? am i a nonbinary pal???, anyways heres me projecting onto my kinnie, kuroo is best boy!!!!, not like actual sex though, showering together, trans masc author
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26943331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaconSwiffer/pseuds/BaconSwiffer
Summary: For anyone who doesn’t know the struggles of hating your body, whether it be dysphoria or dysmorphia or just low self esteem, this is going to sound kind of gross, but Kenma usually tries to avoid taking showers for as long as possible.(or, Kenma is dysphoric but Kuroo is there to help him through it.)
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Series: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1966123
Comments: 5
Kudos: 142





	We're no strangers to love

**Author's Note:**

> Hi welcome to me once again projecting my teen angst onto my favorite characters!!! 
> 
> thats all i have to say lol enjoy

For anyone who doesn’t know the struggles of hating your body, whether it be dysphoria or dysmorphia or just low self esteem, this is going to sound kind of gross, but Kenma usually tries to avoid taking showers for as long as possible. 

But the unavoidable day always comes when Kuroo gives him that stern look and Kenma can either give in or resist and suffer through the “I love you and I need you to take care of yourself” speech and then give in anyway. 

He takes the easy way today of course, trying to drag out the process of undressing for as long as he can while waiting for the warm steam to fog up the mirror behind him. When he finally gets to his binder, he gnaws on his lip, frowning. Maybe he could just shower with it on, then trade it for a baggy shirt afterwards and let it dry overnight. Or maybe he could stick his head in the shower to wet his hair and wipe himself down with a washcloth. 

Kuroo knows him too well, he thinks when he hears a soft knock on the door. 

“I’m alright,” he calls over the shower in the background. 

“Ok!” he hears through the door. “Yell if you need anything!”

Kenma sighs. Looks like there’s no getting out of this one. Swallowing apprehensively, Kenma pulls his binder off, trying to keep his chest out of his line of sight. His efforts are proven in vain when he spots himself in the mirror that hasn’t quite fogged up enough to impede his vision. 

He turns away quickly, feeling his throat tighten. Normally something that small wouldn’t bother him this much, but he had felt really dysphoric today. This was the breaking point. He scrambles to put his binder back on. His chest feels tight, not only from the binder, and he wills the tears in his eyes to retreat. The white noise of the shower fills his head, the only background to the screaming thoughts in his mind. The panic and dejection crashes down on him hard and fast.

Blinking the tears out of his eyes, he numbly pulls his boxers back on and sits on the small carpet covering the tiled bathroom floor. 

_  
Why couldn’t I be born right?  
_

_  
Why can’t I ever feel like myself?  
_

_  
All I want is to feel normal.  
_

  
_I’ll never be a real guy._

His thoughts grow louder and louder, unnoticed tears dripping down his cheeks as he pulls his legs into his chest and rests his forehead against his knees. He glares at the binder, the only thing separating him and what he hates most about himself, wishing he could live without it. He closes his eyes and only spirals from there, breathing growing heavy and quiet whimpers escaping his aching throat. 

He jumps when he feels a hand on his lower back, his head whipping up to see his boyfriend’s concerned face. 

“-ma? Kenma, are you ok?”

Trying to swallow the lump in his throat, the half blonde shakes his head, unable to meet Kuroo’s eyes. 

“Oh, Kenma,” he whispers. Kuroo stands from his kneeling position to turn the water off and then pulls the smaller boy into his arms to carry him back into the bedroom. Kenma refuses to show his face, knowing how unattractive he’ll look with red puffy eyes and snot running from his nose. He buries his face in a pillow as soon as Kuroo sets him down on the bed, trying to keep his shaking shoulders still. 

“Kenma,” Kuroo whispers, soothingly running a hand through the two toned hair. “Kenma, please look at me.” Kenma doesn’t move, the only indication that he heard Kuroo being a choked sob. Kuroo's chest physically tightens at this, and he wishes more than anything that he could make this all better. He pulls a trembling Kenma into his lap, carefulling positioning them so Kuroo’s back is against the headboard and Kenma sits sideways on his lap, face buried into Kuroo’s shirt. His hands grip the hemn of it tightly, almost successfully hiding the wobble. 

Kuroo starts running a hand through Kenma’s hair again, slowly rocking them side to side. He makes sure Kenma knows he’s there for him, leaving gentle kisses wherever he can reach and whispering sweet reassurances all the while. He speaks up after a few minutes when Kenma calms down a bit.

“You don’t have to hide, kitten. I’m right here for you,” he murmurs. Kuroo’s unoccupied hand comes up to cup one of Kenma’s cheeks, and the smaller boy lets his head be guided upward so that he’s no longer buried in Kuroo’s shirt and the two can make eye contact.

Kuroo’s heart breaks at the sight of red watery eyes, wishing he could make it all better. “I’ve got you, ok baby? We’re gonna get through this. You’re gonna be ok.” He whispers into Kenma’s skin as he presses kisses all over his face. 

Pulling back, he tries for a reassuring smile. “I love you.”

Kenma tries for a wobbly quirk of his lips, a sort of laugh-sob choking him up. 

“I know, Kuroo,” he whispers, trying to wipe the tears away. “I love you too. It was just really bad today and I didn’t- I couldn’t-” He swallows and lets out a heavy breath, a sob right on it’s tail. 

“It’s ok, I know. I’m sorry I tried to make you take a shower when you already had a bad day.” 

Kenma shakes his head, staring almost blankly at the ground. 

“No, you’re right. I do need one. It’s been way too long. Maybe I’ll just… close my eyes? I dunno,” he mutters. 

Kuroo frowns at the dangerous sounding suggestion. There’s no way he’s going to let Kenma do that when he could definitely fall and hurt himself. 

“What if… I came in with you?” Kuroo asks hesitantly. He’s suggested this before under basically the same circumstances, but has always been denied. So before Kenma can object, he adds, “I won’t look, I promise. I’ll only open my eyes when I need to and I’ll look right ahead.” He smiles lightly, cocking an eyebrow. “Just one of the advantages of having a tall boyfriend,” he teases, trying to get a bit of a rise out of his boyfriend.

Kenma swallows his opposition to the idea, hesitating. He stares hard at the sheets until finally whispering a quiet “Ok.”

Kuroo’s train of thought stalls for a second. “You sure? I mean, I want to, but not if you’re uncomfortable with it.”

Kenma turns his head to meet his eyes for a second before dropping his gaze to the bed again. 

“I’m sure.”

There’s a short bout of silence, the only sound coming from the dripping of the showerhead in the bathroom before Kuroo brings his hands up to Kenma’s face and pulls it toward his own. Their lips connect in a soft but passionate kiss, Kuroo trying to express as much of his love for his boyfriend as he can in a few seconds.

He pulls back to rest their foreheads together and offers a comforting smile, Kenma trying his best to give a small one in return. 

They slide off the bed together, hand in hand, and head to the bathroom, turning the water on once again. Kuroo gets in first after undressing, turning around and closing his eyes as Kenma strips again, faster this time so he doesn’t have time to overthink and turn back.

There are a few seconds of awkwardness when Kenma steps in where the two of them just stand there until Kuroo turns around to face Kenma, his eyes still closed. He reaches an arm out carefully, searching for his boyfriend and is met in the middle by Kenma’s own hand. It leads him to rest on Kenma’s shoulder. Kuroo’s other hand comes up to rest on the opposite shoulder and he carefully leads Kenma to stand under the shower’s warm spray with him.

With Kenma now facing away from him, he slides his hands down to Kenma’s upper arms and squeezes gently. 

“Is it ok if I open my eyes now?” He asks gently. He barely hears Kenma’s affirmative response over the shower, but he opens his eyes to see the back of his boyfriend’s head in his peripheral. Making sure to keep his eyes up, he rests his chin on the dark roots of Kenma’s hair and wraps his arms around his waist, keeping them away from his chest.

“You want me to shampoo you?” he asks, already knowing the answer even before he feels Kenma nod. He closes his eyes to lean down and drop a kiss on Kenma’s cheek, then detaches himself and grabs the shampoo behind him. 

He enjoys himself as he methodically works the shampoo through Kenma’s hair, running his fingers from the roots to the tips and gently scraping his nails against Kenma’s scalp. He smiles when he hears a quiet moan, priding himself on successfully distracting Kenma enough from his worries to get him aroused. 

Closing his eyes again, he leans down to Kenma’s ear to whisper, “You like that, kitten?”

Kenma whines quietly at the pet name. “ _Kuro_ ,” he breathes.

Then Kenma is being turned around by firm hands on his shoulders and he’s facing Kuroo whose eyes are still closed and who’s dick is slightly hard just from hearing Kenma moan.

He misses a couple times before landing a kiss on Kenma’s lips, blindly pushing him under the spray and running his hands through his hair to wash the shampoo out. He makes sure to scrape his nails over Kenma’s sensitive scalp a bit more firmly this time. 

They kiss softly while Kuroo works his hands through Kenma’s hair until the shampoo is washed out (the terrible taste of shampoo is worth feeling the way Kenma melts at his touch). Kenma leans his forehead against Kuroo’s shoulder, shuffling forward as close as he can without his chest touching Kuroo. 

The taller boy stiffens in surprise when he feels a small hand wrap around his dick and start stroking lightly, just barely gliding over him. He moans and slides his hands to rest on Kenma’s waist, one of them moving to squeeze his ass in appreciation. Kenma’s grip tightens and his second hand comes into play, teasing at the slit and tearing a louder groan from Kuroo’s mouth. 

“Kenma,” he breaths. “Can I touch you?” He kisses lightly up Kenma’s neck while waiting for his answer, silently letting him know it’s ok to say no.

“N- not my chest. But I want you.” Kenma’s soft hand tightens around Kuroo’s hard dick, tugging firmly and twisting it in a way that has Kuroo shuddering and letting out a heavy breath in Kenma’s ear.

He lifts one of his hands to Kenma’s face, cupping his cheek and using his thumb to find his lips. And then they’re kissing again, Kuroo mumbling a quiet “tell me if you want me to stop,” before pressing forward firmly. 

He walks Kenma backwards until his back presses against the wall. He lets out an adorable squeak against Kuroo’s lips at the touch of the cold tile before relaxing and leaning back against it. Kuroo takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into Kenma’s mouth. 

He angles himself so that the warm spray of the water is hitting Kenma too, simultaneously moving his hand in between Kenma’s thighs. 

He slips the hand cupping the half-blonde’s cheek down to behind his knee, pulling it up and pressing the top of his thigh toward the tiled wall to spread him open.

Kenma moans into Kuroo’s mouth when two fingers slip in between his folds to lightly rub at his entrance.

One of Kenma’s hands slips into Kuroo’s dark hair, tugging lightly when Kuroo does something he likes. The other one starts stroking Kuroo’s semi, and he enjoys the way Kuroo moans into his mouth. 

Kuroo moves slowly down to his boyfriend’s slender neck, sucking and nibbling in all the right places. Kenma sighs in pleasure, almost forgetting about Kuroo’s hand until suddenly his fingers are rubbing his clit.

Kenma gasps in pleasure, arching against Kuroo. The elder moves back a little when he feels Kenma’s nipples rub against his chest. He hesitates, waiting to make sure Kenma didn’t need to stop after that.

“Kuro,” Kenma breaths impatiently. He yanks on the now flattened bed head to bring Kuroo’s face back up to his so he can kiss him again. “Why’d y’ stop?” He mutters against Kuroo’s lips, rocking his hips a bit to get Kuroo’s fingers moving over his clit again. 

Kuroo pulls back for a quick breath, leaning back in for a peck before explaining, “Your chest touched me. I wanted to make sure you were still good.” The silence that greets him is disconcerting. With his eyes still closed, Kuroo can’t see Kenma’s face to tell what he’s thinking.

His face is suddenly yanked down to Kenma’s with two hands on the back of his neck. Kenma kisses him hard, pulling back for a second before he steps forward, rising to his tip toes, and presses his whole body against Kuroo. He wraps his arms around the taller boy with some difficulty given their size difference and the fact that Kuroo is just standing in shock.

Kuroo wraps his arms around Kenma on instinct, reveling in the feeling of being completely skin to skin with his boyfriend for the first time.

“Kenma?...” he asks, a bit concerned. He opens his eyes, blinking to adjust after having them closed for so long.“Are you ok? Do you need me to-”

“I love you, Kuroo,” Kenma interrupts. He squeezes tighter, pressing his nose into Kuroo’s collarbone for a second before pulling back enough so that they’re still pressed together but he can look Kuroo in the eye. 

“I know I don’t say it enough.” Kenma breaks eye contact but continues. “I don’t know… how I got so lucky. But I’m tired of hating myself for something that I can’t change yet. I wish I could just stop. And I know I trust you with this, I really do. I feel the most like me when I’m around you. I just had to-” he pauses, his eyes darting back up to Kuroo’s for a second while he looks for the right words. “Trust myself first, I guess.”

He drops his hands down from around Kuroo’s neck and grabs a hold of his hands, stepping back but leaning forward so his forehead is resting against Kuroo’s chest. The water is getting colder at this point, but neither of them really care.

“Kenma.” Kuroo squeezes his hands and then lets go, bringing them up to cup Kenma’s face and angle it back towards his own. “I love you so much.” 

The following kiss is the sweetest one yet, just the soft slide of lips and an overwhelming amount of adoration from both of them.

Kuroo pulls back and brushes the wet strands of hair out of Kenma’s face. 

They step out of the shower soon after that, the water turning unpleasantly cold. They dry each other off, Kuroo taking especially long so he can press Kenma’s back against his chest and press kisses everywhere he can reach.

Kuroo leads Kenma back to their room and pulls his towel off, pulling a pair of boxers on while his boyfriend quickly puts a loose shirt on. Kuroo climbs onto the bed, gently pulling Kenma down to lay on the bed with him. 

Their movements are practiced, almost subconscious as they slot their bodies together. Kenma’s head tucked under Kuroo’s chin, his nose pressed to his collarbone. An arm thrown over Kuroo’s waist and a leg between the other’s. They fit together like puzzle pieces, filling in each other's gaps and meeting at the seams. 

With Kuroo, he feels whole. With Kuroo, it’s easy to forget about the parts of himself that he hates because he knows that Kuroo loves him regardless. 

He feels warm, the scent of Kuroo that he’s started associating with _home_ surrounding him. He breaths it in, releasing it gently after a second, and closes his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, kudos and constructive criticism are always welcome and appreciated! Thanks for reading :)


End file.
